Monday Muses!

      *Monday Muse based off of the song "Summertime Sadness" by Lana Del Ray. *

   

 "She's dead," the words replayed in my head over and over and over again.  I stood there frozen. I think i'll miss you forever. Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky.

They were kidding right? My best friend would never commit suicide. I was on the dock, dancing in the dark in the pale moonlight. The dock we had carved "Best friends Forever" in. The dock we spent all of our time on.  The dock on the lake we learned to canoe on. The dock we swam in late at night. I just wanted you to know, that baby you're the best.        

      You can't die.  I love you. Always have always will. A gust of wind hit me. I traced my fingers over the engraving. Best friends forever. Forever. Forever. Forever. Forever doesn't last long does it? A rush of anger shot through me and I screamed. I felt like a five year old throwing a temper tantrum. Honey I'm on fire I feel it everywhere. But the feeling wasn't anger. It was different. It was the feeling of emptiness. I was an unfilled jar. 

     As the old concoction of feelings left my body a new one formed. I was an emotional wreck. Crying my eyes out. Was it my fault? No I told myself. Only half of me agreed, the other half refused the idea. She could have confided in me! Our memories brushed against what once was happiness. All of our makeovers, sleepovers, bad test grades. You were there through it all, the good and the bad. 

     I turned around, my back facing the lake. Nothing scares me anymore. A billion thoughts racing in my head but none of them mattered anymore.  I stared blankly at the sky and let myself fall.  I hit the icy water and it was over. My body lived with the fish now, and my soul, with you. No more life no more worries.  My summertime sadness was over. Gone. Just like that.

                               Summertime Sadness